Today is October 22nd, which for many people, means absolutely nothing, but for some others ( including myself ), it means a huge thing.
Today is the International Day Of Stuttering, I never knew that there was such a day, until I was surfing the net a couple of months ago, and discovered this really lovely information.
This means we could speak up!. This means there's a day for us, we're no more just a neglected minority of the human race, we are being given the chance here, to understand and to be understood.
I'm writing this, today, and talking about this, probably for the very first time on this blog, because finally, I had the enough courage to say it, to admit it, not to one person, but to everyone around me; yes! I do stutter! .
I'm not here to bore you with my own personal story, for it's way too long to be told. So no, I'm not here to tell a story, I’m here to tell an experience.
You need to know the basics: I started stuttering around an early age, like 10 or 13 , something like that, and
I still am till today. Like most stutterers out there, I went through a " hell " of embarrassments within each day. Now, looking back at it, I don't blame people so much. After all, I think them not knowing how to act, or acting rather too weirdly around me, or ( and this happens A LOT ) assuming that I'm too nervous , that I've lost my words, was all because they had no idea what the hell was " stuttering ". Now, those situations were all convincing to people, they didn't need to think any further, or to assume anything more than that, until I'd stutter on my own name, then .. they'd start thinking there must be something they haven't digested yet, or have missed.
This is exactly why I'm writing this, it's not to bitch and whine about it, it's to celebrate it, by enlightening everyone's minds about it, about what it really is.
First of all, I'd like to state that personally, I do not believe anybody who never stuttered in their lives, or who is fluent in speech, could ever truly, fully comprehend what it is like to be a stutterer, even if they happen to know someone who stutters, either as a family member of as a friend. So, stating that, it's safe to say now, that my whole goal is not to make those who do not stutter , in a way " stutter ", that is to understand completely how it's like to have a stutter, but rather my goal of writing this whole meaningless rave, is to cut the distance we ( as stutterers ) share with our fellow non-stutterers ( see what I did there :P ) .
So it's a way, of clearing up all the myths about stuttering and of making it something to not be afraid of; to make communications an easy thing to do, for both sides.
I'm not a doctor, nor a speech therapist ( even though I can tell your mouth is wide open now as a sign of disbelieve :P ), but it's the truth, I'm after all, just a simple person, who happens to believe in something bigger than herself. I am a stutterer, and therefore I know exactly how it feels, I know how the words are right there inside your brain, and you try to let them out, and then your mouth's gate is closed, you try to find the key, but you come across no such luck, and by the time you find it, everyone's already left, your words become as pale as your heart right now; I understand. And I spent so many years hating it, and not knowing what to do about it, and feeling frustrated whenever someone asked me about my name, or a teacher asked me to participate in class, let alone when I’m asked to make a public speech as a mid-term exam in a speaking class. The years afterwards, I started going to a safer place, a hidden one, where no one could tell I had a stutter.
Now, I know just how many people stutter in the world, how many famous ones, whom stuttering never stopped them from achieving what they were set to achieve. I believe I should speak up! I should say something, cause no one around is saying anything about this, and I know ( I know for sure ) that I'm not the only stutterer here, and I refuse to stay silent about it, I refuse to not at least raise some awareness of it, and reflect my own experience upon whatever information I want to share of it.
No one even knows of stuttering, at least most people, they don't understand it, and though I have mentioned that I do not think there will be a full understanding of it, from someone who hasn't ever been through it, yet I say here, that I still think there could be some kind of a general understanding; what it is exactly, its myths, how to deal with it ..etc.
Wikipedia defines stuttering as : " Stuttering (alalia syllabaris), also known as stammering (alalia literalis or anarthria literalis), is a speech disorder in which the flow of speech is disrupted by involuntary repetitions and prolongations of sounds, syllables, words or phrases, and involuntary silent pauses or blocks in which the stutterer is unable to produce sounds.[1] The term stuttering is most commonly associated with involuntary sound repetition, but it also encompasses the abnormal hesitation or pausing before speech, referred to by stutterers as blocks, and the prolongation of certain sounds .. "
So little known about its causes and I repeat myself, ( I’m no doctor here ), but it has been proven that it can't come by imitation, or as a result of nervousness ( though it can be a reason for its increasing in severity, but not resulted by it originally ).
Now, would be the perfect time to list the most common myths about stuttering :
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( Read more at : Stuttering Help ..)
So, now, by knowing these myths, we will know somewhat how to deal with a stutterer, when perceived as a scary thing, actually, by making too much of a deal of it, makes it even worse!
But treating it normally, is the right way to go. And not asking the person who stutters to : ( take a deep breath .. ) or saying things like : ( it's ok .. ), ( don't think about it .. ) or even guessing the word they want to say, and saying it instead of them ( which really annoyed me sometimes ), because these things ( though done on good intentions ) have proven to be the worst techniques to treat a stutterer by; they unconsciously increase the stuttering.
This brings me to a very key matter here : so, how do I communicate with a person who stutters ? ..
The answer is so simple, you probably already know it, but just need to be reminded of it :) ..
1) When you are talking to a person who stutters, don't ridicule or laugh at the person. They are already feeling frustrated about the situation, so don't let them feel any worse.
2)
Having patience when talking to a person who stutters, is very important. Take the time to listen to the person until they are finished with their sentence. You may feel impatient but there is no way that you are going to know what the person has to say, unless you wait and listen patiently.
3)
Avoid trying to show pity for a person who stutters. Show the person understanding instead. This could be you that is stuttering, and you would want someone to be patient with you and understanding.
4)
Don't treat a person who stutters with indifference. They didn't choose to be a stutterer. When you are in a conversation with a person who stutters, you may feel uncomfortable. The most important thing that you can do to ease the discomfort, is to listen patiently and keep eye contact.
Famous people who stutter ( whom I like to read about over and over again and see what they were able to accomplish in spite of their stuttering ) :
So here you go! ..
My mission here is done, the weight ( formed as a duty ) that was above my heart was lifted here ..
I have one more thing to say to stutterers : you're not AT ALL alone! .. there are millions of people who are just like you in the world, and what you're going through isn't something to be ashamed of, it's something to overcome, by accepting first, and by knowing that it's only one side of you, you're much more than just a stutterer .. you're YOU , and no matter how badly or severely you stutter, never forget to show your true self though it all, we are so different from each other, if we don't become proud of our differences and if we don't respect them, we'll never live together in peace. Remember, you could be just whatever you want to be, stuttering will never stand in your way, unless you let it .. :)
To non-stutterers : I'm glad and I thank God I've had an opportunity to speak up, even through my dusty blog .. ( it's so dusty alright, you don't need to tell me ) ..
Now it's your turn, to understand the diversity we share as humans, and that it's much more than a small attribute in someone's character, it's their minds, souls and passions.
To everyone : All we need is more patience ( it'll help you in your general life as well, so really we're doing you a favor :P ) .. all we need is more respect, to our humanity and living souls, more than anything else as a start.
Today's light at the end of the tunnel : ( we're different, it's a fact, let's celebrate it rather than diminish it. Respect is the key to a peaceful living among each other. Misunderstanding can be easily cured, by patience, well intentions and knowledge :) .. )
